They didn't teach you this subspecies of homo sapien in Biology class. Image courtesy of SarcasticGamer.com.Well, it's usually because they're annoying, stupid, arrogant, moronic, insipid, pedantic fools who share their literate ineptitude with snails. Yeah, okay, I was being a little blunt there. It's because they seem to, by God's wonders, lack the ability to fully open their mind to the wonders of our industry. However, there is one truly committed fanboy whom I'm only remotely embarrassed to call my friend. His name is Joel. He goes by Doru. You may be familiar with him. However, aside from a few minor differences that make him at best tolerable and at worst highly frustrating, he is generally no different from the rest.
To clarify, when I use the term "fanboy", I particularly mean a tech fanboy, one who has forevermore aligned himself particularly with either one of the three gaming consoles, one of the two hi-def media formats, one of the four operating systems, their affiliated companies, or anything else related to technology in general. The term also covers both sexes, so replace *boy* with the appropriate gender where--or if--applicable. And when I say fanboy, I don't mean fanatics of fictional characters, such as Itsuki Koizumi, or the Master Chief. You know who you are.
Doru and I have a... a sort of ping-pong relationship. Were a third party observing us (like for instance Ciara, since she usually does), they (or she) would see nothing more than two gifted and technologically inclined teenagers discussing the highs and lows of technology, and the politics of the tech industry. As Ciara would quite brilliantly and succintly put it, two "nerds". But is that really what goes on? Only on the surface. The reason why Doru and I have a ping-pong relationship is mainly because... well, he's a fanboy.
We're always either arguing about our favorite video game console (he likes the PS3 and Wii, I like the 360 and Wii), or our operating system of choice (Mac OS X Leopard vs Windows Vista Ultimate), or how stupid this-or-that company is for making this-or-that decision (usually, I'm pointing fingers at Sony, he at Microsoft). And we do have pretty heated arguments on this stuff.
But some of you may be thinking... if you've chosen a side, doesn't that make you a fanboy yourself? Not necessarily, and for several reasons. Me? I'm just a fan. I like stuff. I like and hate pretty much everything. If my fingers are pointing at Apple today, they'll be pointing at Microsoft tomorrow, and then Nintendo the next day. But you see, here is what he fails to understand. My choice, and the choices of many like me, is made purely out of
chance and
convenience.Did I grow up using a Mac? No. I inadvertently chose my alignment at the age of 4 years old when I first touched a computer with Windows 98 installed. It only went forward from there. I may not be intimately familiar with Mac's, but I do have experience using one for several applications, my most major having edited a 5-minute movie on one using Final Cut Pro, primarily on the system that a friend brought with her to one of our trips out of town. However, to me, touching a Mac and learning its intricacies is like going to a different country and trying to understand the foreign language of its indigenous people. So why would I spend several hundred dollars buying something I'm not intimately familiar with, especially if I have a perfectly working alternative? You see, I'm not saying Mac's are bad (Quite the contrary, I have exactly 7 Mac-like docks strewn about my desktop, and they're amazing). What I'm saying is that I don't understand Mac's, and I have neither the time, the inclination, nor the resources to do so.
Mr. Doru here apparently has a Windows system or two in his house, so he's no stranger to a PC either. Like me, he gauges his opinion based on his experience, however limited, between the two. And apparently he quite genuinely feels that the former is superior to the latter, most likely because he has had longer exposure to a Mac than a Windows operating system, and so therefore, he is intimately familiar with it. He, like me, feels that is resources should not be needlessly spent on something he is unfamiliar with, or feels is an inferior product. Fine, great, wonderful, you exercised your ability to
choose. Well done.
Alas, when humans discover their ability to freely decide upon their preferences, they also discover their ability to insult the preferences, and those associated intelligences, that they disagree with. And that's when our friendship, if you can call it that at this point, turns sour. Suddenly, tempers are flaring, swear words are being exchanged like artillery rounds during WWI, and there's a fiery-eyed debate raging about why he's right, I'm wrong, and vice versa. We don't necessarily outright insult each other, but it's pretty clear there are some hostile photons of energy passing between his oh-so-wonderful Leopard-running Macbook Pro and my clearly inferior Vista Ultimate-loaded Dell XPS (both of which happen to be on the "uber-powerful" ends of the Mac and Dell laptop spectrums).
I'm not going to consistently claim that I've never been guilty of fanboyism myself (I once deathly hated the PS3 and wanted to throw it out a window), but I've come to believe that taking everything from a neutral standpoint is the most efficient way of discussing a topic related to technology, which is derived from science, which places its emphasis on
fact. Whole, conclusive, verifiable
fact. But the reason why it's more important with technology is because tech isn't just stacking numbers and formulas. Tech is about creativity, making something seem exciting and fresh. Tech is about innovation. Every major technology company within the last decade has done at least one thing significant to push the industry forward. Companies now are always aggressively attempting to contribute towards their Next Big Idea.
Yet when a company comes up with a great idea, the fanboys see it as a personal affront on their territory and fight back, claiming that whatever it is their tech of choice has, it is most definitely superior to this new thing just emerging over the horizon. Fanboyism on a whole is destroying the tech industry. If not destroying, then just having a detrimental effect. It's pushing us backwards. Fanboys are halting innovation, because they refuse to acknowledge a good idea if they see one, simply because they are blinded by what they so patriotically believe in, simply because this rival tech was introduced by a competitor. And if someone disagrees with them, they're in for one wild ride: insults, swear words, aggressive hatred and fury in some of its purer forms. It's nothing short of aggressive jingoism. In becoming a fanboy, one loses all sense of civility and develops an insatiable thirst for blood towards all who oppose him.
Keeping in mind my perchance to do so, I'm not even being melodramatic. These so-called "fanboy wars" are probably some of the most heated arguments you'll ever see on the internet. Certainly not anywhere near larger-scale debates like courtroom cases or election campaigns, but nevertheless involved and passionate as only God would fathom.
Not to mention... they're stupid and consistently prove to be a complete and utter waste of time.
Several times I have regretted ever even mentioning more than one of the phrases "good idea", "smart move", or "Microsoft" in the same sentence around Doru. It's like lighting a two-second fuse for several tons of TNT. You can almost hear his keyboard internally combusting from the pressure as he types a rapid-delivery rebuttal. It's like he has a list of preset negative responses towards all inquiries that could possibly be Microsoft related. And every single time, I have to find some sort of even keel or response that will satisfy him enough to shut him up. Because, after all, he's a friend, and we carry a love for general tech, Guitar Hero, classic rock, and photography. But I'm always thinking... can I really put up with this?
I hate having to carefully manage what I say just to keep from fueling the fires of war. I hate having nothing to say when he suddenly decides to criticize Microsoft's acquisition of Yahoo out of thin air. Talking to him is like tip-toeing on eggshells. This is never how I imagined my relationship to be with anyone who shared my love for technology.
You see, that's another major problem with fanboys. They're tearing the tech fanbase apart with their propaganda and their hate-speeches. They aggressively insult those who use rival technologies, calling them several of various cookie-cutter names ("stupid fag" is a fan favorite). It's like a civil war among nerds. We can't even call ourselves one concise group anymore, like we were when we were all together defending against the bullies in our early elementary school years.
All this hate, all this bigotry, all this jingoism, is nothing short of pointless. And I'm too effing lazy to give this rant a proper conclusion. So instead of ending this entry with the usual "Honana~" I'll just get rid of it with a very prompt "UGH!"
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